Verse of the day

Proverbs 19:20-21 [link]

Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise. Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails. 

Other thoughts -

I'm excited to get started in my balloon making adventures (inspired by the balloon master Nancy)! Right now I've only made a dog, flower, and bunny. This is my ultimate goal:

Balloon Tardis [link]

I would love to make it interactive too. You'll be able to walk in, see the flashing lights and hear the vroomvrooms, and of course, it'd be bigger on the inside. Like this one, but not edible, which does make it slightly less cool.

Linlin, sometimes I think about getting a tumblr just to reblog you. But then I realize it takes too much time. So here you go, I'm reblogging you a different way. :)

---- edit ----

Here's another one!

Twisted And Radically Designed Inflated Structure [link]   

So appreciating the name.

Slow morning

We're having a slow morning today. No regular meeting, and there are technicians coming around to check our building and facilities. 

The news that's been going around about Steve Jobs - it's quite surprising to me how strongly people are affected by his death - myself included. This man really did change the world. It's amazing what one person can do. 

Undeserved Love

How deep the Father's love for us

Ever since I can remember, from early elementary on, I tried hard to be loved by those around me - friends, teachers, family, even strangers. I even remember bringing snacks for the kids at my table just to curry their favor. A people-pleaser at heart.

I also linked love with favor and approval - i.e. if somebody was disappointed in me, in my head that meant their love for me was gone. Of course, this would inevitably happen, and I interpreted this as growing evidence that I was therefore unlovable. So as the years passed, I built a thick wall of callousness around myself. I told myself that I didn't need the approval of others, and I really believed it. I began to dissociate myself from others, not necessarily in an antisocial way, but in an aloof and disconnected way, where I could prevent myself from ever losing their love and approval. I reasoned to myself, however unconsciously, that if I don't let anyone close, then I can't get hurt. If I don't let others see my faults and know my insecurities, then I won't lose anything. If I don't invest, I won't be hurt. If I don't take a leap of faith, then I can't fall.

If I don't try, I can never fail.

So that became one of the core philosophies that I carried across all aspects of my life, and it infused my relationships, my work, my studies, my spiritual walk...

Praise the Lord, for he had no plans for me to stay this way. He blessed me with my family, who love through thick and thin, who know more of my faults than I care to think about, and who care more for my good than my comfort. And he blessed me with dear friends who know and love me beyond my closely guarded surface, who stick through hardships and challenge me to grow, who can show their love in truth through both approval and disapproval. Little by little through the years, the walls have been torn away. It's scary to be vulnerable, but that's where true fellowship begins.


As much as I'd like to be and try to be, I'm not a reflective person by nature. My instinct is to think just of the present, ignoring both past and future. I'm definitely a present-oriented hedonist. Reflection takes time and effort, and all too often unearths pain, guilt, and regret. But I forget that it unearths many more treasures, and deepens joy and gratitude. With remembrance comes gratitude, and with gratitude comes praise.

Praise that Lord. We cannot curry God's love - it's poured down on us, completely undeserved. There's nothing we can do to add to it, and nothing we can do to deplete it. His love is not shown simply through approval, but through gentle and firm discipline. This is a philosophy that has not infused my life, but one that I hope and pray is taking deeper hold each day.

How deep the Father's love for us, how vast beyond all measure, that he should give his only Son to make a wretch his treasure.

From Gospel Centered Discipleship:

"Know this—it is the gospel that allows you to be real. It admits us all as sinners and establishes us all as saints... Be real. Admit where you are and what you are. This will allow others to minister to you, and you to minister to others."

How true this is.. and how not evident in my life.

God does not change, and He has promised to change me.

Reviewing Life Trends

Over retreat, we did an exercise where we wrote out three timelines, from birth until today. One timeline recounted how God's been working in our lives to bring us where we are. One was about the struggles that we've gone through, and how God brought us through them. The last was about the times that we've felt the pleasure of God, as described by Eric Liddell -

"When I run, I feel His Pleasure."

It was amazing to see my life history visually laid out like that - I'm sure that there was so much that I missed too, and much more that close friends and family could remind me of.


As a side, I've been able to see a little bit more why I might have my penchant toward over-scheduling myself. Example - my dad is involved in like 500 activities, ranging from service in and outside of church to heading group activities, to studying part time, attending conferences, investing in networks of learning, and side activities like gardening, traveling, kite making, slug hunting and fishing with rubber. Of course, he's a lot more put together than I. :) When I take a closer look at my family, my own strange habits start to make that much more sense - eating strange foods, making strange crafts, reveling in strange activities, and so on. Hi family, if you're reading this :) Thank you. <3


As a kid I never really had a liking for history - to me, it was just boring stuff about dead white males. But as the years passed, I've come to realize how important it is. Reflection lets us understand who we are and where we come from. It gives us a window to the future as we understand ourselves. And finally, reflection brings remembrance, remembrance, gratitude, and gratitude, praise.

Let us remember.

2 Tim 3:1-7

"1But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. 2For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, 4treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. 6For among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions, 7always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth."

2 Timothy 3:1-7


This gives me super chills, especially the last two verses. "Always learning and never able to arrive at the knowledge of the truth."... How does you know if you're in this position? Always learning, but never arriving. By God's grace...

Oh man

Little things

Just got a free bag of chips and salsa from Anna's for their 15th anniversary, and a candy bar from MIT's Operation Smile brigade (finals-time-cheer team)

Little things :)