"I swear to you... that to be overly conscious is a sickness, a real, thorough sickness" - Fyodor Dostoevksy, Notes from the Underground, 1864
So very true.. It is a sickness of the soul, knowing how little we can reach even our own standards that we so hypocritically judge others by. The more you become aware and conscious, the more you realize the depth and uncontrollableness of this sickness.
It is only by the grace of our Lord that we are ever able to bow down in utter brokenness before his feet, in recognition of and thankfulness for his gift of healing, freedom, redemption, that we may be released from this otherwise incurable sickness.