Wednesday, November 26, 2008

I heart

SUNNY DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

And getting free things.

Monday, November 24, 2008


Long week ahead :) I'm so excited!
I had a lot of thoughts earlier. But all gone. That's ok. The less in my head the better at this moment, so I can do neuro. :D That makes no sense. :/

Friday, November 14, 2008

O man

So I said before I'd love to work for Pixar... found out today that there are internships that they offer - and things called demo reels - I'm so intimidated. AHHHH! :O


Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Wow :O

I am actually quite impressed...

Yaaaay Magic Hour! Though I admit I like some of the other designs a bit better, I am happy to say that I'm a part of the Berkshire team :)

Monday, November 10, 2008

Chiharu Shiota

My inspiration.

Her inspiration. Memories, Catastrophe, Dreams, Death

Synaesthesia is 7 times more common in artists, poets, and novelists. Strabismus also is quite common in all the above. Bevil said that artists sometimes benefit from seeing from just one eye - I wrote my common app about that (hahahahahahaaaa sigh)

People say that we have no depth perception. I guess I can use that as my excuse for being bad at sports/activities requiring depth perception. Like driving.

When you can only see with one eye, you have to create your own depth perception then huh? In that sense, you can also more easily represent aspects of the three-dimensional world on a two-dimensional surface: that's all you've ever known.

That same concept can be stretched over so many things - over the realm of spirituality, the realm of intellect, of emotion, physicality, musicality, and the list goes on.

I wonder, what color does she see?

I wish I could do tests on my brain. Maybe they would help me in my neuro exam. Chapter 14...

Sunday, November 9, 2008


Hmm.. I was brought to think about this earlier today -

As much as I'm capable of, as I'm sure many have seen, exploding in great bundles (in the chemical sense) of spontaneous joy and excitement, I'm quite sure that I'm equally capable of exploding in great bundles of frustration, panic, grief and anger. So where does it all go? Energy cannot be created or destroyed, so it clearly does not evaporate. Maybe it is channeled into something else, but what is it? Maybe it manifests itself in the form of... acne. That'd explain a lot.

But in all seriousness, I know that it does not just disappear, and I know that it doesn't just stay all inside either. When I explode, I either try to quarantine it as much as possible - affect as little people as possible, change my environment as little as possible - or I just want it to end as soon as possible - and that usually means I wait for the storm to pass, and if something is not convenient to do, I don't do it. So in conclusion, I don't often explode to others, unless I am absolutely desperate or it's not really that sudden/explosive.

On deeper examination, I don't actually explode much anyway. I told Vaneh this earlier - maybe it's better to let there be a leak in the balloon so that it never does get to the point of popping - I think that is what I usually do... but sometimes, things happen, and rate of deflation < rate of inflation. Then, popping occurs, and I run into problems mentioned above. Bahhhhhh

Habits are not all so good.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Studybreak: Overheard in Wellesley

"Girls dance with other girls to get guys' attention. So they're dancing with me to get the guy's attention, but I'm dancing with them to dance with them."

I can't help but think,

Sad... different meanings, but on both parts...

Tuesday, November 4, 2008


I like when people wear glasses - perhaps it's my weird nerdy innards that for some reason rejoice when I see it - little flutterbys dance around my nerdy innards in happiness, and I find myself unwittingly going "awwwwww yaaaaaaay haaappyyyyy!!!"

I'm so weird. :(

I had 1.5 cups of coffee/hotchocolate/cream today. MMMMMMMM - and I think that my alertness is going to go away soon. Oh nooooo must stay up for labbbb :|

I'm also very very very happy to see people I know around campus (which, considering the size of this campus, is quite common). They're like rays of sunshine on a cloudy day. Except today it's pretty sunny too.

Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, save it for a rainy day :D

Ahhhhhh shutting down +_____+

Sunday, November 2, 2008


Sometimes I'm overwhelmed by how epic life is.

Dot dot dot.

A deluge of waves is coming, and I'll need to anchor myself well in order to not be swept away. That needs to be a pretty hefty anchor then.

I hear small children. Awww, small children!

I'm really starting to like the color yellow. I'm more like my dad than I think...

Sometimes I can see my thought bubbles bloop up above my head, and I see all the clutter and mess that's inside of it - sometimes it's so shallow, yet sometimes I don't understand them at all. And I wonder, what is in everyone else's thought bubbles? What is this one thinking about, and what is that one struggling with? What has brought up those in this one's bubble, and how can that one overcome these? Each one must be so complicated, so rich and so heavy and so colorful and so fragile.

If you step back a little, all those bubbles meld - they're like cells, each one living, with each one's intricacies and stories. Step back a bit more and it becomes a body, then an entire biosphere, kind of like how individual threads made from different materials intertwine to make a tapestry, and how strokes of watercolor combine to form one painting. It's beautiful, intricate and overwhelming all at once. Like waves that cover the ocean's skin.

Looking back, I wonder, how much have things really changed the past year? Haha, xanga holds so much of my thoughts - it's interesting to go back through them and sift -- what did I think a year ago? 2 years ago? 3 years ago? What did I care about, what did I do, what did I want? Looking back, I think, wow! I posted a lot. And sometimes I find myself agreeing with my old self , but other times I'm in total contradiction with what I wrote before. Sometimes I'm surprised, because I had forgotten things that I remember again are so important, and other times I'm surprised that I have changed so much. Still other times, I find myself no longer as sure as I was before about certain things, or perhaps more sure. Some questions are now more answered, and other answers have now become questions once more.

Keeping an archive of thoughts... I wish I did that more. I wish I kept a better habit of it. Well, I wish for a lot of things, none of which will magically happen if I just keep wishing hard enough. That's the beauty of it isn't it? Wishing alone never does anything productive.. It all combines together with other factors, like the neural connections of the brain interact to an end result. Which, because of feedback, actually isn't the end. It's a (vicious) cycle.

Sometimes I find myself encouraged by the me of the past... is that a sign of regression? I don't know... It's encouraging and slightly discouraging at the same time - not sure what to make of that.

And now it's 3:33 (is it 33 seconds too?) Time to paint my heart out...

07.25.07, 10.10.07.