Symbiotic

Hmm.. I was brought to think about this earlier today -

As much as I'm capable of, as I'm sure many have seen, exploding in great bundles (in the chemical sense) of spontaneous joy and excitement, I'm quite sure that I'm equally capable of exploding in great bundles of frustration, panic, grief and anger. So where does it all go? Energy cannot be created or destroyed, so it clearly does not evaporate. Maybe it is channeled into something else, but what is it? Maybe it manifests itself in the form of... acne. That'd explain a lot.

But in all seriousness, I know that it does not just disappear, and I know that it doesn't just stay all inside either. When I explode, I either try to quarantine it as much as possible - affect as little people as possible, change my environment as little as possible - or I just want it to end as soon as possible - and that usually means I wait for the storm to pass, and if something is not convenient to do, I don't do it. So in conclusion, I don't often explode to others, unless I am absolutely desperate or it's not really that sudden/explosive.

On deeper examination, I don't actually explode much anyway. I told Vaneh this earlier - maybe it's better to let there be a leak in the balloon so that it never does get to the point of popping - I think that is what I usually do... but sometimes, things happen, and rate of deflation < rate of inflation. Then, popping occurs, and I run into problems mentioned above. Bahhhhhh

Habits are not all so good.