Grossness continued

Maybe it's because we're really really really just that gross inside. Maybe it's because we were born and tied and bound to this sinful nature that will not leave us no matter how much we scrub... maybe it's because that's how we were destined to be in the first place, because of the first sin of man so long ago... yet the fall began before the first bite was taken - it had started in their hearts first and foremost, and that is where all our sin first takes its root too... is it not? Maybe I'm wrong too...

I look at these words and they seem very far away... I think my eyes are just tired. They've seen too much sunshine today - though I love sunshine, there's only so much I can handle at one point.

What use is a weapon that sees no wear and no sharpening? That isn't wielded in battle? That's just left there in the dust, while the one who was supposed to use it gets beaten repeatedly, in small and large ways, b/c they themselves chose not to pick it up? Or just 'forgot' it was there? What use is anything if it is not actually used?

Where is your joy truly from?

Amazing --- that Christ died for me... that He chose me long before these rainy days, before the beginnings of time and space, and that even in these times He still gives me reminders of how much He loves me, even though I feel I not deserve forgiveness (which is true) and so decide that I shouldn't ask for it (which is not good because-therefore logic, even though it sounds pretty good to me)

So today I got a really weird bruise from setup - I had no idea how it happened, but it kept growing throughout the day - so by the end of the day (now) it was just a bit blob of purple on my hand. I thought it was funny at first, but upon seeing it in the midst of my blahness, I was suddenly pummeled by this song:

The nails in your hands, the nails in your feet, they tell me how much you love me. The thorns on your brow, they tell me how you bore so much pain to love me... And when the heavens pass away, all your scars will still remain, and forever they will say how much you love me.

Forever my love, forever my heart, forever my life is yours ~

Am I not already consecrated to God? Consecration happens once for all, and it happens everyday as well... it's an active choice, as it is a choice that God has made for us too who are saved - just as we are resanctified, we are also reconsecrated to Him day by day, as we make it intentionally so... and all in the grace of God.